I can’t stop thinking of you. I missed you. I hope everything is OK; well, not really I want you to know I hate you. I never did like you and I must admit I loved the way it felt but it wasn’t me. I never recognize myself whenever we were together. I hope you just waking up reading this because, this is how I feel about us. There can’t be anymore us at all. I understand you get lonely but your loneliness should show you how you are no good for people. You hurt me, you hurt us. I will pray for you, I will pray that we will never meet again. I hope God forgive me for letting you in my life. Let me pray for us.
If I was perfect maybe you would’ve love me more? I hate myself for letting my guards down. I’m usually on point with things like this. I ask you Lord to forgive my lips for I loved the way it felt. I ask forgiveness for I slept with it day in and day out. I cover the guilt with cheap affordable smiles and receipts of joy that offer no-refunds. I hate this life I chased after. I come to you Lord, with permission to ask for redemption from my relationship with Sin. I know I’m suppose to wish or treat others how you would want us to treat them. However, I don’t believe the same rules apply with Sin. Lord, I end this prayer with a kiss on the bible for that is the closest I will ever get to kissing your forehead.
I imagine your whisper last night, through the dark clouds that covered my house. I heard voices in my walls. I missed your touch God, and I know you missed our late night talks. We were buddies fighting for the same cause. I agree life don’t make any sense, but I know I miss your touch. We created friendships together; we sang songs of joy and blessings meeting trouble times. I just don’t know what to do. However, I know who you are.
Clutter thoughts scream victory before the battle was even done. I capture and post this still image just for proof that I was here in the flesh. Moods switch faster than the signal lights. We held onto themes just to design our blog of life page. Reality TV consumes the soul of the weak just to reveal lies on how to compare their worth to the world. I took a sip of the Holy water today and I realized that I was still thirsty. Organizing my knowledge to create power is my mission. I forbid you to enter these gates of hopelessness, and I hold you tight cutting off all the dead weight that is trying to breathe life into you. I mention words like this before, fighting demons with a sword less hand but only carrying my sword like tongue as my choice of weapon. Father, Father forgive my hopes, forgive my dreams. I served my mother as if I was her Oliver Twist of the family, her youngest but fragile man-child. Will she ever realize I’m gone in spirit out of her house she calls home? Will I forgive myself for my passion to run away is stronger than my passion to stay. Father, Father please forgive my clutter mind.
Distance lovers; she calls out to a man who lives in his own head. Cherishing the nights for what the day don’t supply. Sleeping with countless minds just to be call a “Jumper” for in a flash he will disappear out of your life. Realizing that no one can’t compare for the moments share they laid history there, her not noticing that being a distance lover brings you closer to someone near you. She begins to fall for the day and the sin it brings.
If you are reading this that means I didn’t make it. Hold the tears my love ones. I will be waiting for you in heaven I just started a new life. I just started to begin to love my family and some of my friends. Please smile for me for the good times and the times I made ya’ll laugh dare not to wear black for I love colors. In order to really know who I am read my poetry books to see what I saw and the thoughts; I thought of when I was writing them. Not too long ago I had a dream in my dream there was a man and he said to me “Church” get your things let’s go better yet start packing for your trip. I now know people really don’t want to die. I love life too. Well I did. If I should die just remember life goes on. I can live longer in your memories if you let me. Good Night folks.
I don’t want the world to lose my soul. I missed my stop the other day and my mind was sent wandering for hours on end. Everyone loves to talk about how superman saves the day, but they never talk about who cleans his costumes or how he puts on his pants one leg at a time. My point is clear no matter how powerful the world may view you; don’t forget the connection you have with the world. You are human just like everyone else. I believe, with every Great Successful Person, there is a group of people in the background developing and grooming that success to be what we only see from the opposite end.